Rules of Acquisition

Facts

• Moral and ethical guidelines for Ferengi behavior
  • Elaborated upon by opinions and commentary by Ferengi adjudicators
  • Often considered and treated as essentially a religious text
• First codified by Gint, first Grand Nagus of the Ferengi Alliance (DS9: "Body Parts")
• 173 rules as of 2151 (ENT: "Acquisition")
• 285 rules as of 2370 (DS9: "Rules of Acquisition")

Rules

• 1: Once you have their money, you never give it back. (DS9: "The Nagus", "Heart of Stone")
• 2: The best deal is the one that brings the most profit. (DS9 Novel: The 34th Rule)
• 3: Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to. (DS9: "The Maquis, Part II")
• 6: Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity. (ENT: "Acquisition"; DS9: "The Nagus"; DS9 Novel: Demons of Air and Darkness)
• 7: Keep your ears open and your eyes on the mark. (DS9: "In the Hands of the Prophets")
• 9: Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. (DS9: "The Storyteller"; DS9 Novel: Avatar, Book One, Mission Gamma: Twilight; SCE Short Story: "Caveat Emptor")
• 10: Greed is eternal. (DS9: "Prophet Motive"; VOY: "False Profits"; DS9 Novel: Mission Gamma: This Gray Spirit)
• 15: Dead men close no deals. (DS9 Novel: Demons of Air and Darkness)
• 16: A deal is a deal. (DS9: "Melora")
• 17: A contract is a contract is a contract... but only between Ferengi. (DS9: "Body Parts"; DS9 Novel: Demons of Air and Darkness)
• 18: A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. (DS9: "Heart of Stone", "Ferengi Love Songs"; SCE Short Story: "Caveat Emptor")
• 21: Never place friendship above profit. (DS9: "Rules of Acquisition")
• 22: A wise man can hear profit in the wind. (DS9: "Rules of Acquisition"; VOY: "False Profits")
• 23: Nothing is more important than your health... except for your money. (ENT: "Acquisition")
• 25: You pay for it, it’s your idea. (TNG Novel: The Buried Age; DS9 Novel: Ferenginar: Satisfaction is Not Guaranteed)
• 31: Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. (DS9: "The Siege")
• 33: It never hurts to suck up to the boss. (DS9: "Rules of Acquisition", "The Dogs of War")
• 34: War is good for business. (DS9: "Destiny", "The Siege of AR-558"; DS9 Novel: The 34th Rule, Demons of Air and Darkness)
• 35: Peace is good for business. (TNG: "The Perfect Mate"; DS9: "Destiny")
• 43: Feed your greed, but not enough to choke it. (TNG Novel: The Buried Age)
• 47: Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own. (DS9: "Rivals"; DS9 Novel: The 34th Rule, Demons of Air and Darkness)
• 48: The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. (DS9: "Rules of Acquisition")
• 53: Never trust anybody taller than you. (DS9 Novel: Mission Gamma: Twilight)
• 55: Always exaggerate your estimates. (SCE Short Story: "Cold Fusion")
• 57: Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them. (DS9: "Armageddon Game"; DS9 Novel: Mission Gamma: Twilight)
• 59: Free advice is seldom cheap. (DS9: "Rules of Acquisition")
• 62: Profit is its own reward. The riskier the road, the greater the profit. (DS9: "Rules of Acquisition", "Little Green Men", "Business as Usual", "Starship Down"; DS9 Novel: Avatar, Book One; SCE Short Story: "Caveat Emptor")
• 74: Knowledge equals profit. (VOY: "Inside Man")
• 75: Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum. (TNG Novel: The Buried Age; DS9: "Civil Defense")
• 76: Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies. (DS9: "The Homecoming"; DS9 Novel: The 34th Rule; SCE Short Story: "Caveat Emptor")
• 94: Females and finances don't mix. (DS9: "Ferengi Love Songs", "Profit and Lace"; DS9 Novel: Avatar, Book One, Demons of Air and Darkness, Mission Gamma: Twilight)
• 95: Expand or die. (ENT: "Acquisition"; VOY: "False Profits")
• 98: Every man has his price. (DS9: "In the Pale Moonlight")
• 102: Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever. (DS9: "The Jem'Hadar")
• 103: Sleep can interfere with...well, a whole lot of things. (TTN Novel: Taking Wing)
• 109: Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. (DS9: "Rivals"; DS9 Novel: Mission Gamma: Twilight)
• 111: Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them. (DS9: "Past Tense, Part I", "The Darkness and the Light")
• 112: Never have sex with the boss's sister. (DS9: "Playing God")
• 125: You can't make a deal if you're dead. (DS9: "The Siege of AR-558")
• 139: Wives serve, brothers inherit. (DS9: "Necessary Evil")
• 155: Take joy from profit, and profit from joy. (DS9 Novel: Bajor: Fragments and Omens)
  • Rule 55 by text, adjusted to avoid conflict
• 168: Whisper your way to success. (DS9: "Treachery, Faith and the Great River")
• 190: Hear all, trust nothing. (DS9: "Call to Arms")
• 193: It's never too late to fire the staff. (DS9 Novel: Mission Gamma: Cathedral)
• 194: It's always good to know about new customers before they walk in your door. (TNG Novel: The Buried Age; DS9: "Whispers"; DS9 Novel: Demons of Air and Darkness; SCE Short Story: "Caveat Emptor")
• 203: New customers are like razor-toothed gree-worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back. (DS9: "Little Green Men")
• 208: Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer. (DS9: "Ferengi Love Songs")
• 211: Treat employees like the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't be afraid to step on them to get to the top. (DS9: "Bar Association")
• 214: Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach. (DS9: "The Maquis, Part I")
• 217: You can't free a fish from water. (DS9: "Past Tense, Part I")
• 229: Latinum lasts longer than lust. (DS9: "Ferengi Love Songs")
• 235: Duck; death is tall. (DS9 Novel: Mission Gamma: Twilight)
• 239: Never be afraid to mislabel a product. (DS9: "Body Parts"; SCE Short Story: "Caveat Emptor")
• 263: Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum. (DS9: "Bar Association")
• 267: If you believe it, they believe it. (TTN Novel: Taking Wing)
• 285: No good deed ever goes unpunished. (DS9: "The Collaborator", "The Sound of Her Voice"; DS9 Novel: Avatar, Book One)